Lost

Sometimes I will wonder, will I get lost someday? ( Laugh ) I am currently lost now. What is my dream? What is my goal? What is my hope? Where am I standing now? The peak of my life or the lowest part of my life? I never knows. I lost my happiness. I lost my dream. I lost the one I love. I lost the one I care. When pursuing your dream you will get lost in the middle of no where. This is so true. Is not easy to pursue a dream and make it reality. Not many succeed. Once i am so ambitious but now I am a person with no hope, no dreams, no happiness.... Is this really me? Many said I have changed. Did I? In which aspect? Am I changing to a positive way or a negative way? Who knows? Maybe this is the best for me in the future. No one know the future except from God. My future is so dim and dull now. I stand in eyes of no one. I ask my self one question. What is my ability? Am I in the wrong track? Hope becomes a hand full of dust; where the winds blows it away and disappear from my sight. Ambition becomes the dreams where I can only think of but cannot see, touch and feel it.

无影的压力

Just had a great supper today. On my journey back to K.L me and my sister felt so hungry and is already almost midnight. We still plan to eat good food but unfortunately all the shops are closed. So we are forced to go Cheras to take our supper. Although is not very nice but still consider good. Besides from food, pressure is coming more and more. The youth camp is coming very soon and many things haven't ready yet and have to manage my study some more. Really not enough time to do so many things at once. Time is running out! I really hope God send someone to help me. One that can really help! Oh one more thing. This coming thursday is my moral and malaysian studies final exam and you know what, I haven even finish my revision. OMG! I really gonna be insane soon!

Trust the Lord

I am feeling much more better today. God is really so marvelous. Now i really trust God more and more. For what I've seen today God is really so miracle. He really heard my prayer and answer my prayer instantly. I never thought I have such strong faith. Haha...but i also don't know whether is my prayer or not. This may sound so fanatic but I really do believe this God more and more. I know that He will provide whatever I need as long as I fear Him and obey Him. For what proverbs has quote: The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. From now on I totally depends on Him in my studies. I know that He will definitely help me.

Social Life

I never knew this could happen. I really never thought of it. But somehow it is already a fact. I can't manage to change the fact either. Sometimes things doesn't go according to your will smoothly. I am not sad about it but just disappointed. Did I really fall so deeply? I don't understand why my heart hurt so much? But I know that this kind of situation forcing is not the solution. I respect every decision that ***** made. I think all my planning that I had made has to be cancel now. Haha~ I think is my luck. Anywhere I would like to congrats my friend for his success. Best wishes from me. From now on, I will only concentrate in my studies. I don't want to let my parents down again. This is the only purpose I am here not others. 

The Lord's Comfort

It is true that the Lord does comfort those who are hurt. Whoever that come to Him with a broken He will restore you. It is so true. The Lord's comfort is so good and peaceful. The guiltiness in me slowly left me as I listen to Christian song. It's amazing. The Lord really will hear our prayer if we humbly come and seek Him. Our God is a merciful God, He will not turn his back on His children.

Guiltiness

Again i have this kind of feeling again. I really felt guilty for achieving this bad result. I felt that I owe my parent an apologize. They expect me to study well and score good result whereas me is having my own sweet time here. I really felt this guiltiness in me. My father is working so hard so that i can further my study and I am wasting my time and money here playing around like a fool. I am sorry. I am really sorry. Although this is only a trial but it means a lot to me. I really scare they will feel sad and very disappointed in me because of my foolishness. I don't know how to tell them my result and face them anymore. This guiltiness in me really made me so uncomfortable...T_T

Exam failure T_T

(Sigh)......I also don't know what I can say about my study. I never thought of getting this kind of result. I just can say that I didn't work hard enough like the others. Take this as a lesson to remind myself not to play too much. Final is coming soon and I can feel the pressure is slowly coming back into my life. At the very moment I knew my result, my mood totally changed. I become so moody till I keep silent for the rest of the day. But regret also too late. Why not I choose to be happy rather than sad? This is what I told myself. From now on, I am going to study hard and continue to fight for my goal. One of my friend told me this, " Sometime we will get lost along our journey to achieve our goal but as soon as we realize we are on the wrong track and go back to the right track then we are safe." I will remember this phrase for my whole life!

爱

Recently, the pass few days i have been watching some love story. It made me realize the true picture of love. We may know the meaning of love but the act of love is totally different from just understanding the meaning of love and memorizing it. Love is not just about saying it but is about doing it. Some people may think making love is love but they are totally wrong. Love is not just about being in love with your girlfriend or boyfriend. Love covers everything. The love for your parent, friends, children, and everything that have life and deserve to be love. Love is about endurance. No matter how harsh the person treat you, if you love that person you will endure it and accept it. You will not get mad at the person because you love that person. This is love. You are willing to do anything and sacrifice anything just to made them happy and peace. You are going to accept the person as who they are. Nobody is perfect in this world. If everyone understand the act of love the whole world will be very peaceful. At least there are less argument among the family, friends and the one we love. Love is not something that we can learn in education. Love is something that we experience, the way we react, the way we endure. 

Exam Pressure

I never expect A-level also have trials. All the while i thought only government school based have trial. This trial is really torturing me. But i kinda like it. Haha... You may think i am insane right? Who will love exam? But honestly I did. Although is a bit tiring and torturing because of burning the midnight oil but i kinda enjoy it. At least i know how much i have learn all this while. Tomorrow is my last paper for this trial and is the my worst among the all. CHEMISTRY. The killer subject. I really tried my best to understand it but ( sigh )....... OH...one last thing my junior are having their SPM. Wish them all the best. Hope they can enjoy their SPM. Haha..because they will surely miss it by the time they enter college. Anywhere all the best!